What’s better than a surprise mild weather day in late December? Not much if you ask me. So far (knock on wood) I’m winning the war on SAD by staying active, taking time to notice and appreciate the little things, and reading good books. (That last one is the main thing winter is good for in my opinion. Less time wanted to spend outside means less time torn between reading and anything else. The inner conflict of a bookwormish outdoors gal is quelled.)

However, since as usual I had to switch around my schedule a little bit this week to accommodate surprise rest days (thanks, nasty cold), I’ve now run 4 days in a row and have a long run scheduled for tomorrow. Knowing I have 8 miles on deck for tomorrow made me tempted to take today off to rest my legs, but I couldn’t resist the nice weather. So I made myself a bargain.

photo 4Finding myself in the car this afternoon with an urge to drive somewhere, I hit the highway and drove a few miles into Bethesda. The library there usually has a better stock than the two libraries closer to me, at least as far as fiction and new releases go. Since in between grad school semesters I crave fiction rather than heavy textbook language, I decided to pick up a few books I’ve been wanting to read. A couple of bestsellers and attention-getters, and of course, the requisite “beach read” or “chick lit” – royal historical fiction, always good for a delicious couple of hours. I call it reading candy and there is no shame in it. My bargain: Run your 4 miles, spend the rest of the night with these babies wrapped up in blankets.

I also felt like getting kinda cute for my run. Usually for training runs I dress in whatever tech tee or tank is clean and whatever capri leggings still have working drawstrings to keep them up over my rump (more about my rump later! ooh keep reading), but today my hair was feeling nice and soft and I knew I had to incentivize myself to get it all sweaty and greasy again. Team Sparkle it was.

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This is the front. Obviously. Because it hangs flat.

Here’s the thing about Team Sparkle. And really, any cutesy running skirt or tutu. I love them. One of the things that first made me interested in running 5K’s (before I ever dreamed I’d be lining up half marathons) was the “Event” factor – something to go out and do and be part of the community and take pictures and be proud of. So naturally, wearing something fun for a race? I was all for it.

Only problem is – I promised you we’d get to it – I have a rump. A prominent one. It’s not just a matter of going up a size – I have wide hips for my frame, yes, but it’s not even just that. My waist is smaller than both my hips and my butt but the big problem is that my rumpshaker makes itself known. It’s what we curvy women like to call a “down South rump.” (No dis to Miley, but hers in fact does not qualify, contrary to her Twitter bio.) Some “junk in the trunk” if you will. It has nothing to do with my weight. It simply is a round, rockin’ caboose.

Which means any skirt or dress I wear, no matter the size, is gonna hike up a little higher in the back than in the front. Unless the dress or skirt maker has planned for a woman with a bootie and purposefully designed the back of the skirt to be a little longer, it’s gonna ride up a little.

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At the start line of the Baltimore Color Run

Not to single out Team Sparkle. And not to make it sound like I’m criticizing any skirt or tutu makers for runners. For the Color Run, I bought a rainbow RaceJunkie tutu. I’m a big fan of this shop’s work. I’m even wearing their Rapunzel tutu for the runDisney Princess Half Marathon in February. I mean, look at that thing. My unchecked bag I had to lug around because I got there late is froofing it down a little, but it was glorious. But my constant awareness of how on display my rear was – ZERO COVERAGE – made me keep pulling it down, leaving a gap between my waist band and my lower belly on the pants I was wearing underneath. Awkward looking.

All of this to say, unless there are some running costumers out there that understand Runners With Booties’ needs, us RWBs will never be able to run in skirts or tutus over anything shorter than something knee length. Which means no short running shorts under my Rapunzel tutu in Florida. Even without the tutu, I’d be in something knee-length in that humidity.

Because capris, too, come down further toward the knee in the front than they do in the back. Because of the butt. Are you catching on yet? #bootyproblems, y’all.

In any case I got my run in. Check 4 miles off my Charleston Half Marathon prep, along my neighborhood roads with a sparkly pink skirt not covering my ass at all, effectively turning tights into pants for 45 minutes. You’re welcome, neighborhood.

photo 2But, 4 miles fulfilled. Up early for my 8 miles tomorrow, so literature, here comes my ridonk badonkadonk.

Do you have specific parts of your body that don’t line up with arbitrary clothing sizes?

What are you reading this winter?

And like, what’s your deepest secret? 

 

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